i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
