u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
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