She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
