ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
