You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Omg I joined a choir last night...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
