I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Blood and glitter go together right?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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