My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
