This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
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