Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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