who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
