She's JV to your varsity
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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