His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
