Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom

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(615): View more from Tennessee

my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good

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(905): View more from Ontario

MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

no. you cant fuck a burger.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

We're too hungover to prance.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.

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