its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
