yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
