the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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