I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
