i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
