mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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