ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
