Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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