a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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