Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
