ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
