ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
