My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
