yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
