Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
