do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize