why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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