wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
