Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
they're like a gay fantastic four
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
