It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
