I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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