I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I need to align my fucking chakras
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
