eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
porn star boner night. come get it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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