I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
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I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob