She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
