That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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