Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize