Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
