ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
