So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
