I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize