The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My penis needs a shock collar
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
