We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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