If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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