Just fell off a train. Bad.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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