I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
