I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she peed on how many people?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
