this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
