..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The uberlube is also flammable
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We're too hungover to prance.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
