You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
