I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
