his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
