just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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