and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
