I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
