Me too!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
