All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize