would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize